【认知】你并不是懒,你只是需要放慢脚步

【认知】你并不是懒,你只是需要放慢脚步-阿甘讲认知
【认知】你并不是懒,你只是需要放慢脚步
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德文·普莱斯曾养过一只名叫“Dumptruck”的宠物龙猫,这只小动物让他明白了一个道理:作为一个人,我们不需要通过努力和高效率来证明自己存在的价值。

“它一辈子都没做过一件有意义的事,”普莱斯说到。这位社会心理学家、《懒惰不存在(󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮Laziness Does Not Exist)》一书的作者表示,Dumptruck可以说是效率的反面典型,坦白讲,还相当具有破坏力。

“我从来不会用它是否为自己的存在正名这个标准来看待它的生活。它不用付房租,不用提供任何服务。用这些标准来衡量󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮它的生活简直是荒谬的,”他说。

我认为动物启发了我们:我们无需通过努力奋斗来证明自己存在的价值。当我们静静地坐在沙发上呼吸时,我们也是美好、可爱且值得被爱的。如果我们能像爱我们的宠物、爱我们的亲人那样爱自己,不用工作产出来评判自己的价值,我们就能开始以平等的方式对待自己。

图片[1]—【H035】你并不是懒,你只是需要放慢脚步—曹哲成长社群

德文·普莱斯的宠物龙猫“Dumptruck”

普莱斯指出,“懒惰”这一概念常常被巧妙地用来让人们感到自己缺乏生产力和价值。

他称之为一个谎言,一个让我们相信自己总是可以做得更多的陷阱——无论是工作、人际关系还是家庭——而价值等同于生产力。

他建议,与其把“懒惰”视为一种缺陷,试图用咖啡因或加班来克服它,不如把懒惰当作一个信号,提醒你可能需要休息一下

他表示:“懒惰通常是我们身心发出的警告信号,说明某些方面出了问题,人体非常擅长通过信号告诉我们需要什么。然而,我们几乎都学会了尽可能地忽视这些信号,因为它们会威胁到我们在工作中的生产效率和集中力。”

这种追求成就的心态实际上可能正对你造成伤害,重新审视“懒惰”可能会使我们更富有同情心。

Life Kit在与普莱斯的访谈中谈论了过分强调“努力工作”而忽视我们自己健康的问题、那些常被贴上懒惰标签的人群、以及懒惰可能为我们的生活带来的正面影响。以下是采访中的高亮观点:

一、为什么过度强调“努力工作”存在问题?


二、那些常被贴上“懒惰”标签的人


三、懒惰如何帮助我们明确价值观和认清自我


四、如何克服过度工作,不再将“努力”与自我价值划等号


五、当你无法掌控自己的时间时该如何应对


我们大多数人都无法完全自由地摆脱那些令我们疲惫的事务,并以一种更从容的节奏工作。不要因为没能正确地摒弃对懒惰的厌恶而自责,因为我们大多数人的自由和选择都受到了相当大的限制。

如果你身处一个不信任员工自我激励、不给予设置界限空间的工作环境,那么你真的是在一个强制性的氛围中,它会让你持续感到身心俱疲。

在这种情况下,我们往往需要考虑组建工会,及时记录问题的发生,并明确向工会展示出这样一个事实:当一名员工离职后,他们的全部工作只会被转嫁到其他人身上,而不是聘请新人来接替。

原文链接:https://www.npr.org/2021/09/24/1039676445/laziness-does-not-exist-devon-price

原文内容:

You aren’t lazy. You just need to slow down

September 24, 20217:01 AM ET

By Elise Hu Clare Marie Schneider

A surprising influence helped author Devon Price understand what can be harmful about closely associating our worth with our work. His pet chinchilla, Dumptruck. “He’s never been productive in his life,” 󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮Price says. The social psychologist and author of Laziness Does Not Exist says Dumptruck is pretty much the opposite of productive, and frankly, rather destructive.

“I would never l󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮ook at him and think of his life in terms of has he justified his right to exist? He’s not paying rent. He’s not performing any service. And it would be absurd to even think about his life in those terms,” he says.

“I think animals help us remember that we shouldn’t have to earn our right to exist. We’re fine and beautiful and completely lovable when we’re just sitting on the couch just breathing. And if we can feel that way about animals that we love and about, you know, relatives that we love, people in our lives who we never judged by their productive capacity, then we can start thinking of ourselves that way, too.”

Price says the idea of laziness has been effectively and expertly wielded to make people feel unproductive and unworthy. He calls it a lie, and a trap that makes us believe there’s always more we could be doing — at work, in our relationships, at home — and that worth is productivity. Instead of viewing “laziness” as a deficit or something we need to fix or overcome with caffeine or longer work hours, Price says to think of laziness as a sign you probably need a break instead.

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“Laziness is usually a warning sign from our bodies and our minds that something is not working,” he says. “The human body is so incredible at signaling when it needs something. But we have all learned to ignore those signals as much as possible because they’re a threat to our productivity and our focus at work.”

That achievement mindset might actually be hurting you. And rethinking “laziness” can lead to more compassion.

Price spoke with Life Kit about the problem with emphasizing “hard work” over our own healt󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮h, the people who are often labeled as lazy and󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮 the positive impacts laziness can have in our lives.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Inte󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮rview Highlights

Why overemphasizing “hard work” is problematic

We live in a reality where people do accu󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮rately rec󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮ognize that that we live and die by our ability to work. And so there’s this self-defeating but also really rational quality to our compulsive overwork that a lot of us have. It becomes really self-defeating to say, “I’m in this on my own. I need to work really hard and make a lot of money so that I can take care of myself.” Because when you think that way, you also take on a much gloomier view of other people. Anyone else and their needs is kind of a threat to my own kind of rugged individualism and independence. So it keeps us really isolated. It keeps us judging our co-workers for not pulling their own weight because we’re suffering so hard. [It] can kind of create this downward spiral of just workaholism and isolation.

The people who get tagged as lazy

People who are dealing with any kind of anxiety, ADHD, depression, any kind of mental health str󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮uggle, those are people who tend to have been called lazy throughout their lives. Any time they’re out of ene󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮rgy or just having trouble getting through a really overwhelming moment or 󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮day, people can’t see that internal struggle. They just judge it as them lacking willpower or being lazy.

Marginalized p󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮eople, especially people of color, tend to be branded as lazy a lot in a lot of r󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮eally insidious ways. There’s a way in which learned helplessness is really just accurately recognizing that you’re in a really difficult situation where people aren’t giving you freedom and autonomy and not really respecting you or letting you feel heard. So a lot of times we call people lazy when he’s just kind of checking out of a really unfair situation or really unmotivated situation.

How laziness actually helps us define our values and see ourselves more clearly

I think laziness really is this canary in a coal mine kind of emotion that tells us when our values󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮 are out of step with our actual lives. A lot of times we pour so much energy into being impressive at work, satisfying all the demands of our friends and family and just trying 󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮to overachieve in every possible way that we don’t really listen to th󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮at inner voice that tells us, “Here’s what matters most to me in my life. Here’s what I really believe in and val󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮ue. And here’s how I really would live if I wasn’t just setting out to satisfy other people.”

I think when we start listening to laziness, we can really question a lot of unfair social standards like fat phobia. This social standard sa󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮ys that our bodies need to look a certain way and that we need to exercise and cook meals that look a particular way. And it’s just all of this󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮 drive t󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮owards meeting a really arbitrary standard of perfection. When we stop pushing ourselves to kind of overachieve by this completely arbitrary metric, we can say,󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮 “OK, w󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮hat actually feels good for my body? How do I actually want to spend my time?”

How to fight overwork and over-identifying “hard work” with our worth

I do have this exercise in the book, but you can also get it online. It’s just called the values clarification exercise, and it’s something that a lot of therapists give out where it’s just a list of different values that a person might have. You’re asked to rank order them. It can be things like achievement, famil󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮y, connection, humility, care for other people. If you have to choose three of these values off of this really long list, what are the three that you’re going to choose? Because you can’t actually fulfill all of them equally all of the time. Once you ha󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮ve a sense of what really matters most to you in your life … then you can look at how your actual life is out of step.

What to do if you’re not in control of your time

Most of us don’t have that ultimate freedom to walk away from things that are exhausting to us and just work at a m󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮uch slower pace. Unlearning the hatred of laziness isn’t another thing to beat yourself up for not doing correctly, because most of us are in a situation where our freedom and our choice is pretty restricted. If you’re in a workplace where yo󠄐󠄹󠅀󠄪󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄧󠄣󠄞󠄢󠄡󠄦󠄞󠄥󠄢󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠄐󠅅󠄹󠄴󠄪󠄾󠅟󠅤󠄐󠄼󠅟󠅗󠅙󠅞󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠅄󠅙󠅝󠅕󠄪󠄡󠄧󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄡󠄥󠄨󠄧󠄦󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮󠇙󠆈󠆯󠇗󠆄󠆈󠇘󠆞󠆢󠇘󠆞󠆔󠇗󠆏󠆕󠄬󠅒󠅢󠄟󠄮u aren’t kind of trusted to self-motivate and you aren’t given the room to set limits, you are really in a coercive environment that’s going to keep running you down. A lot of times it comes down to looking into things like unionizing, documenting problems as they occur, demonstrating how when one person leaves the company, all of their work is just dumped onto someone else instead of replacing them.

The podcast portion of this story was produced by Clare Marie Schneider, with engineering support from Brian Jarboe.

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